THEME

I don’t date. I can’t remember the last time I was on a date. I work. I read books. I’m a terribly exciting human being, I know. The reason I haven’t dated much is that the first few times I did it, I hated it. I despise the first date—and all the uncomfortableness that goes with it. I’m more of a listener than a talker, so I’m a little awkward when meeting new people. Other issues: I don’t drink, so that makes it difficult. Because what do you do if you’re meeting someone after 7:00 P.M. and you’re not having dinner? I don’t know, get tea? And, OK, yes, I’m a bit of a workaholic, so it’s hard to find the time. (Dating is like a second job!) But mostly, I don’t date because dating these days is kind of a clusterf—k. Let me explain. First, what the hell happened to rules? DO have some, please.Our parents and grandparents grew up with a “way” of doing things; with our generation, propriety has gone out the window. With dating, there are no rules. It’s very confusing. Like, who pays the check? Not that long ago a guy spent the night with me. We went to breakfast the next day. The check came. I went to the bathroom, came back. It was still there. I thought maybe he wanted to finish his coffee. When the waitress came to take it away, we had to address it. Seeing my confusion, he said he didn’t want to offend me by paying on “my side of town”—he didn’t want to assert his power over mine on my turf. So he’s thinking I’d be offended, and I’m thinking, If you’ve already Lewis-and-Clarked my body, maybe buy my oatmeal. (Another guy I dated once said, “I want to spend the day lying in a hotel bed with you and get room service and never leave our cushy white bathrobes.” I was like, “Awesome.” Then he asked, “Will your dad pay for it?”) It’s tricky—and there’s no protocol—so you’ve got to talk this stuff through. And what’s with all the Google stalking? A total DON’T.Right after Girls came out, a friend set me up with a friend of hers. We were all out and he wanted to show me something on his phone. He pulled up the Internet…and the last search he’d done was for me. Terrifying. I’m an old-fashioned girl. I like to get to know a human one-on-one. Social media causes false intimacy. You see what a person ate for breakfast on Twitter, and you assume that’s what they eat every morning. You don’t take the time to really get to know them. Also a DON’T: sex too soon.Yes, instant gratification is the thing—the inability to wait a day to see each other naked. So the clothes come off on the first date, and then you get to know each other at brunch the next morning. Not necessarily bad, but it’s sort of forcing us to work backward. In one of my favorite Rilo Kiley songs, there’s this lyric, “Talking leads to touching, and touching leads to sex, and then there’s no mystery left.” I think there’s something to be said for having to want. Getting to know someone. Working forward, not backward. For God’s sake, DO define things.The exclusivity talk is something a lot of people avoid because they’re afraid of the answer. I had a friend who was dating a guy who was dating only her—wanted to date only her—but who still wouldn’t agree to be exclusive. It had been almost a year, and he was just like, “I get antsy when anyone calls me their boyfriend…. I’m not gonna sleep with anyone else; I just want the option.” OK. He was being honest. Different things work for different people. But you need to know what you’re dealing with, and then once you know, you can decide whether that’s what you want. And DON’T, DON’T, DON’T give up!In a courtroom I suppose my closing argument to the jury would be: Ladies and gents, in killing the outdated “old-time dating rituals,” we have killed romance. But as jaded as I’ve become in my old age (ahem, 25), I’m still a hopeless romantic. I don’t expect big gestures (flowers make me feel awkward). It’s the simple things that are much more meaningful. (For Valentine’s Day, an ex-boyfriend once gave me a book called Dear Heart, Old Buddy, by one of Truman Capote’s friends. It’s become one of my favorites.) The sweetest thing someone can do is to listen to you. To be thoughtful. To accept your neuroses. That’s love. And at the end of the day, isn’t that what we all want?
view-from-up-here: People write their name and the name of a person they love and lock it onto a bridge or fence and throw away the key. Nobody can take it off and their love will last forever. Certain bridges in Italy and France are covered in them. It is a really beautiful thing.

If it’s meant for you, you won’t have to beg for it. You will never have to sacrifice your dignity for your destiny.

~   

Chelsis Porter

MOTHERFUCKIN’ JONES, PREACH IT.

(Source: simply-quotes)

2.Apr.13
lovelifefateqt
I’ve been listening to way too much Rihanna :|

Can You Feel the Love Tonight?

Simba:

So many things to tell her but how to make her see the truth about my past? Impossible! She'd turn away from me.

Nala:

He's holding back, he's hiding, but what, I can't decide. Why won't he be the king I know he is, the king I see inside?
20.Mar.13
can you feel the love tonightlion kingdisneyrelevantlovelifelyricst
This is tragically beautiful.